Can Autism be great?  Can Autism have a bright side?  Can Autism be a blessing? Read and decide.  Remember, I have worked with Seth for twenty years to date.  It has not been and easy road.  I am not suggesting that good behavior is automatic.  My upcoming book "The Puzzle Boy" will reveal that to you, but these are some of the blessings I am enjoying now.  It is a goal to work toward with your child.

Birthday Morning woke with a bang!  Well, Seth came in bright and early, (just a cliche, it was still dark.) leaned way down into my face and said "It would be OK if Bob and Shirley came to my birthday today..."  Bob and Shirley are our neighbors.  They moved here from Wisconsin and Seth just loves them.  He also wanted Grandma and Grandpa Clayburn to come. That's being great!  He is thinking and wanting to be inclusive.

Everyday in December is so busy for me.  I had all I could do to finish my work and get a cake ready for him.  He wanted a fruit kindof a cake. So, I made a pumpkin cake from scratch and it had dates and nuts in it.  Not bad. I think that is being great!  He chose a healthy cake.

He was not picky, did not ask for much.  Didn't ask for the car keys. (ha)  Had a few "older" people over and just enjoyed sitting on the floor surrounded by us in the chairs and worked on taking his puzzle apart.  He takes it apart with just as much carefulness as he puts it together. Our guests marvel at this and are intrigued.  He definitely had a method.  I don't know, maybe all certain colors had to come out first, then words, then the birds.  You know how it goes.  That's being great!  He just soaked in friends being there.

Seth enjoyed opening up the Birthday cards.  He read every one of them with much clarity.  He has really progressed well in the last year or two.  When some money fell out, his eyes got so bright and happy. "Wow!"  In it went with his  collection!  He does not like to spend his money.  It gets saved and every now and then he brings it all out and counts it. That's being great! Most kids just have money that burns a hole in their pocket and they have to spend it all.

There has been times when we were in a store.  Seth would see something he really wanted.  He carried it all around and just begged to get it.  It would probably be one of those things that would just bug you because of the repetition of sound and I would not want to buy it.  So I would tell Seth he would have to use his own money if he wanted it  Slowly he would slink away and put it back.  Oh, No!  He's not going to touch his money!  That is being truly great!  He is thinking and making a wise decision.

That night, because of the two weeks of excitement surrounding the Birthday event, he finally was able to sit back and relax.  It was said and done.  He was now twenty! Phew!  He brain gave in and he had a seizure.  Poor kid!

A few days later he is telling the neighbors and all he sees how happy he is because he has not had a seizure in so long.  He wonders if it is because Jesus is healing him. I say, "Yes."  He is, Seth. The process is long, but He is.  Keep being patient.  He Loves you!  That is being Great!  He knows where his strength comes from.

I learned something from him this week.  I was feeling rather crushed in spirit for some reason or another.  Just feeling like the blues, like, why should anyone love me kind of a thing.  (Anybody ever feel that way?)  Seth would come up to me frequently throughout the day and tell me how he loved me so very much, all the time, all day.  I would repeat that back to him, especially he likes the "so much" part.  It was pretty routine.  But, this morning was different.  He came in during the wee hours of the morning and told me how much he loved me.  I finally saw God!  No matter how I feel, no matter how down and out I am, Seth loves me.  God loves me.  Wow!  My husband loves me, my daughter loves me, my mom loves me.  Wow!  The light breaks forth and I feel very blessed that I have a son that can lead me to the Cross again and cause me to realize that I have been listening to a "different" God, the counterfeit one that tells me I am no good.  Then I realize that I fell off the "Path" and need to get back on the "Straight Way."  The path of True Love, True Greatness!

Until next time, remember what true greatness is.  The ability to love without limits, forgive without numbering, be happy with the small stuff, and like to eat a healthy cake. *smile*

Love to you,

Nancy Lynne

P.S.  Please feel free to comment and let me know if these blogs are of benefit to you.  I appreciate your kind feedback. (tell me kindly)

May God Bless the Birthday Boy for many more years to come!  When we think of being blessed, we usually think of this world's goods.  When Seth thinks of being blessed, it is because he feels so well loved.  It truly does not take much.

Oh, I really went out big on a birthday present for him.  Let's see what he thinks! *wink* 

"Seth, there is a gift bag for you out on the counter."  I told him early in the morning. "Go get it!"

"I can open it now? Before we eat? He asked. "Sure"  "Ok"  "Help me, I can't untie this."  I helped him open up the bag, he looked on with eager anticipation. His eyes all lit up.  He pulled up the tissue paper surrounding the gift.

"Oh!  Look!  It says Springfield, MO on the back!" Big grin.  "Look at the front, Seth."  "Oh, it says Grizzly on the front and it has a animal on it!" 

He was absolutely thrilled with his Grizzly Industrials Red hat!  (I am sure any man who loves tools would be!)  He quickly went and found his collection of hats and laid them all out on the living room floor and proudly displayed all he owned.  He has an orange TN hat his brother in law gave him.  A Mayflower hat his uncle Ted had given him.  He drives truck for Mayflower movers.  Another TN hat that is white with orange letters. and so on.  Now he had the beloved red one!  Later that day I took him out for a walk.  "Now I will wear my red hat!"  Oh, he looked great in his "dude wear." A hat and sunglasses.

He does look good in hats.  I'll have to say so myself.  But, I think he looked greater with that smile on his face when he pulled it out.  He was so pleased with something so simple.  Aren't you jealous of that?  Don't you wish you could go back and be a child when a candy cane was a real treat, or a hand-me-down that meant so much to you was a pleasure to receive?  I think that is something that is ok to covet.  (Right, God?)  A pure heart with pure, unselfish motives. 

This is one of the traits that makes my son great!

Until next time, be satisfied!  Take pleasure in the small stuff!  Part three is next....And the pics, I promise.  One with the hat on!

Nancy Lynne

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Seth, Happy Birthday to you!  Blow out your candles!  I can't believe that Seth is a Twenty Something now!  December 11, 1986 he came into this world.  Another miracle of life! 

Non-stop talking is what I heard from him for two weeks prior to his 20th.  He has been stressed looking in the face, can't stop talking to anyone.  Just talking about anything that comes to his mind.  I was getting frustrated as it was hard to talk to anyone without him interrupting.  Usually he is pretty good, but it sure seemed like something was bothering him.  As a mom of an autistic child, or even ADD, Aspergers, or whatever, you have to be a sleuth.  So, I finally took the time to think. "What is going on in his mind?"  "Why is he so stressed?" Ahhh!  Birthday!  "Hey, Seth, why are you so uptight? --  Smile..... No, a real smile.  Relax your forhead."  Finally I see a real smile.  He can't help it when I tell him to do that.  You and me might be able to keep the scowl on our face, but not him.  It is like when he is not doing what I want him to right away and I start counting. 1...2....3...4   Seth, you have until the count of 10 to come over here.   "Ohhh, mom!" He grins as he listens up.  He just can't help it when I get the numbers going!

 I asked Seth "Are you all bothered and anxious about your birthday?" Immediately the lights came on and he is released from his emotions. "Welllll--Yes!  I usually get cards starting in the mail by now, and I have not gotten any.  I wonder why?  Do you think I will get any? Last year I started getting them several days before my birthday."  Aha!  We hit a note. All his pent up feelings poured out of him as he went on and on about this.  I was able to assure him that he will get cards and not to worry.  What a difference in his demeanor after we were able to identify the "problem."  The next day, sure enough, he received some cards.  He was soooo happy!  Especially when some money fell out!

When you and I get anxious, we have some "stops."  We can usually identify our problems, excercise, rest, talk it out, or whatever it takes to deal with it.  We can also reason out that things will eventually work out.  We can "see" more into the future.  Our children with these difficulties don't have the same "stops" and can't see into the future.  They don't "know" if something is going to happen if it is displaced in time.  We have to really learn how to effectively communicate to them and take the time to help identify their crisis.

Boy!  I think I should be paid to be a psychologist!  Alas, I am just a mom!  But, a good benefit I have is that I know the Creator God that knows my son inside and out and he has lots of Wisdom to share with me! James 1:5 "If any lacks wisdom, ask of me and I will give it to him."  (paraphrased by me)

Tomorrow I will jot about the birthday and upload a picture!

Until next time, keep using your "noggin."  Pray and ask for help.  It is sure to come!

Nancy Lynne

Well, we now have a complete list of when mail will not arrive in our mailbox for all of next year!  We received a calendar in the mail today and Seth spied it.

Quickly he found a peice of paper, had me sharpen a pencil and diligently he began going through each month, obsessed with having a list of his off mail dates.  Earlier he wrote down the very day of the month each of us would have a birthday next year.  It's amazing how he gets so hung up on things so simple.  I mean, we all get hung up on things, don't we?  So what is so wrong with that?  I guess it is because it is not relevant to us "Normals." We do not see it as very meaningful. 

Hmmm.  I was thinking about getting Seth a complete weather station for Christmas so he can keep track of the weather.  He can chart it for the whole year.  He said he did not want clothes this year, he wanted something "to do."

Do you think I should get it for him or do you think it will drive me to the nut house?  He already has to tell me the time and temperature at least ten times during the day.  I might as well add barometric pressure, windspeed, humidity and what kind of clothing we should wear for the day!  That will make life really, really interesting.  It will give him something more to talk about and he could sound quite intellegent!

I suppose we all have somewhat of an obsession with the weather.  When it comes on the news, everyone flocks to see it.  We look on weather.com everyday even though we just looked at the ten day forcast yesterday.  I suppose we forgot?  Or we want to see if it changed? or, or, or, we are OBSESSED! Ha!  I knew Seth was normal afterall.  Or, uh, are WE the autistic ones?  I think that someday we will all be quite confused if we are not already!  Lord, help us all!

 Seth was helping me unpin a quilt this afternoon.  He picked up the pin holder which is full of large hat pins.  It slipped from his hands and of course they spilled all over the place and were poking into the carpet.  I just looked at them.  Oh, well!  I did not have to worry.  I just told Seth to pick them all up.  It did not phase him a bit.  He loved picking them up and did a thorough job.  It is good to have him around.  I know he will do a job completely until it is done and every crumb is gone so to speak.  I don't think there are a lot of "regular" kids like that anymore. So who has changed?  Who is really different?

I challenge you!

Until Next Time, watch the clock, look at the calander, check out the weather channel (that is actually on 24 hours a day for those of you that are obsessed), and pick up all the pins!

Nancy Lynne

It's the countdown month! December. Seth has all the birthdays marked for December.  This morning he woke up singing Happy Birthday to Grandma C.who is 82 today. She really did not want to be reminded. (I wonder why?)  One week from now, Seth will be 20!  We can hardly believe it!  He is so excited!  His eyes get really big everytime we mention it!  Oh, and my birthday is the 29th, with many others in-between. He has our half birthdays marked out and how many days old we are and how many seconds old we are.  I guess I would rather be years old rather than days old!  Makes a big difference! Ha! (Just a matter of perspective!)

When I think back and reflect on how far we have come with Seth, all I can do is give God the glory, because there is no way we could have made it through without strength and positive insight that comes from outside of ourselves. The journey has been like a long country dirt road, full of potholes and ruts with some smooth places that would lull you for a moment until your wheel fell into another ditch which would catch you unawares and it looked like no easy way out. I believe we have been pulled out of that ditch, made it to the otherside where the road is now paved , and seeing some sunshine along the way!

Is Seth "healed?" No.  Have we learned of a new way to cope?  Perhaps.  Has my attitude changed? Yes.  Has Seth gotten better?  Much!  I have so much to be thankful for and so much to share.  I have learned a great deal in twenty years.  When our son became autistic and epileptic, no one knew what was wrong with him.  There was no name for it, no title.  I was considered a parent that did not know how to control her child.  That Seth was bad because he would not make eye contact, would not obey, could not stop himself, and had no fear.  I desparately worked with him daily, trying everything that came my way to see if it would help him.  There was so much trial and error. At the end of nineteen years, he is responsive, has beautiful eye contact, smiles, is polite, and does not eat like a pig anymore!

I honestly never thought we could achieve what we have.  It has truly been a reward of our efforts and I want to encourage you to keep on keeping on.  There are methods and ways that work.  You have to be persistant, have hope and never give up! Keep your eyes on your goal and don't let a day go by where you don't tell your child/ren that you love them and think they are the most special child in the whole wide world, and that you would not trade them for anything!  Let that fact sink in 365 days a year!

Until next time, Keep your eyes on the goal, (not your next birthday, Ugh!)

Nancy Lynne